...crossfit

Today I had to go to a doctor's office for a checkup and part of that was a height/weight check.

I never weigh myself. I used to. There were years when I would get on a scale and that fucking number would determine my self-worth, how I would feel about myself, whether I would run three miles or four, eat one cookie or two. There were countless days when I would get on an elliptical machine with my headphones on and pedal until the calorie count arrived at the number I wanted.  So over half a decade ago I made a pact to myself to just not look at at the scale. I put it away. I would go by how I felt, how my jeans fit. It's just a number, right?

And then I found crossfit. There are a lot of reasons why I love it. One of them is it's emphasis on functionality rather than looks. Fitness rather than fashion.

Well, the number today told me that since starting crossfit last year I have gained 10lbs. 10lbs and I can still wear the same clothes as I used to. 10lbs and my waist is pretty much the same size....but I feel like a new person. I feel alive and STRONG. I feel the best I have ever felt in my life. I am not some "model" that can walk down a paris runway. But who the fuck cares? Because I can do so much more than those hungry girls. I can press over half my weight above my head, I can do FRAN in my garage in under 7 minutes, I can deadlift 1.5x my body weight, do more pullups than most boys I know, look "Helen" in the face and laugh, saying BRING. IT. ON.

And THAT, my friends, is beauty.